9 Words Women Use

[c337b]

9 WORDS WOMEN USE


1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman
can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say
you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's
wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

[Yak_KLR650]

I thought this was a joke, but when I showed it to my wife she didn't laugh. She just let out a loud sigh (see #5).:wi:

This thread needs the motorcycle for sale pic that went around the internet a couple of years ago....the one where the guy was selling the bike because apparently "go ahead and get it" did not actually mean that....LOL

[evil69]

Wish you would have posted this a couple months ago when the wife said "fine (#1) go ahead (#4) and buy the new bike! Sigh(#5) Whatever!

it would have save me the money on getting her things to gether to say thanks! (#7)
:shock::?;):dr:

[TLGREEN]

:D Oh my god!!!! I just about spit coffee all over my keyboard reading this!!!

I think I have personally used every one of those things & you have nailed the meaning perfectly!!:)



P.s don't show this to my husband. I wouldn't want him to know what I'm actually thinking...:shock:

[ape]

http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o154/apester3/BestAdEver.jpg

[yamafan]

I hope "Steve"got his testicles out of his wifes' purse, kept the bike, and lost the wife instead.

:hb:

ape wrote:
http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o154/apester3/BestAdEver.jpg
Thanks for posting it...I had no idea where to find it anymore. :hb:

[Sailor]

Words Men Use:


1. Fine: Fine

2. Five Minutes: Five Minutes

3. Nothing: Nothing

4. Go Ahead: Go Ahead

5. Loud Sigh: excess CO2

6. That's Okay: That's Okay

7. Thanks: Thanks

8. Whatever: Whatever

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Don't worry about it, I got it.

I hate games women play.

[sprocket1200]

yeah me too.

don't let them play games. put your foot down immediately.

if it hasn't happened recently, it will take them awhile to get used to it, but do it fast and don't let up!

if you want a pussy to run your house, let her do it...

[TLGREEN]

sprocket1200 wrote:
yeah me too.

don't let them play games. put your foot down immediately.

if it hasn't happened recently, it will take them awhile to get used to it, but do it fast and don't let up!

if you want a pussy to run your house, let her do it...

Ya, then drag her out of the cave by her hair!!!!!!!:tup:



:)

[JavaJude]

Need I say more................

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble
choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a
present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.


The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy
beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new
outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that
she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves
him so much.


The man was impressed.


The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets
him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and
some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him
that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so
much.


Again, the man is impressed.


The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns
several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and
reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she
wants to save for their future bec ause she loves him so much.


Obviously, the man was impressed.


The man thought for a long time about what each woman had
done with the money he'd given her.


Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.


Men are like that, you know.

[spc]

JavaJude wrote:


Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.



Now I am impressed. You have never met me but you know me so well!

[tomcycle]

One of the guys at work sent me this and I got a few yuks from it.






By all Means... MARRY!




I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.

That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

David Bissonette




When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Sacha Guitry




After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi




By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates




Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas




The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud




I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous




"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman




"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison




"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran




"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray




Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash




The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...

Anonymous




You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman




My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield




A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle




Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous




A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Anonymous




First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."